Monday, September 9, 2013

College Essay Draft

Stanford Prompt:
Virtually all of Stanford’s undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate—and us—know you better.

Aloha, Roomie!

I apologize in advance for any grass trails from my skirt, it gets messy. This is my first time writing a letter in English instead of Hawaiian, so pardon my grammar and spelling.

Nah, just kidding. My name is Tiffany Agustin, your roommate for the year. I’m aiming for the amount of intellectual vitality that you would want in a Stanford roommate, and I'm hoping to be to your satisfaction. I hope that when we meet, we agree on virtually anything and everything that ever was on the face of this planet (although I know that won’t happen ever in the history of the universe).
I am indeed from Hawaii, although I do not know how to surf, so please don’t ask for lessons in the future. However, I’m open on learning how to surf together. I’m pretty short compared to all you mainlanders (what we call those from the motherland), and I’m not used to the cold because cold doesn’t exist here. I own a vast collection of sweaters for someone that hasn’t experienced true cold, but I’m proud of it.
Now, onto more serious matters. Grades are very important to me (it should be for the both of us, we’re applying to Stanford), so I’d like for us to help each other out a bit. Testing each other, taking turns at buying graph paper and index cards, all that stuff. In addition to that, maybe we could alternate in buying dinner?
Whatever you buy can’t have onions, which is what I’m allergic to among other things, such as nickel and raw fish. If you’re planning on killing me, don’t use the above methods, because they’d know it was you. If you have any allergies at all, please let me know!
If you’re from Hawaii as well, then what a coinkydink (my word for coincidence). This is the warning that I make a lot of weird noises and words that may be either disturbing or creatively stimulating. But if you are from Hawaii, then I’m happy to know that I have something in common with my roommate.
I hope that we create many quirky, dorky, and enjoyable memories together. I’ve been told that college would be the best years of my life, and I’ll be trying to prove that statement correct throughout our four years together. Hope to meet you soon!


Tiffany Agustin

4 comments:

  1. GOOD START YOU DID A NICE JOB ADDING IN YOUR OWN HUMOR BUT WATCH OUT FOR MAKING THE OBVIOUS JOKES THAT ARE NOT REALLY JOKES ANYMORE ESPECIALLY IN CALIFORNIA WHERE THEY KNOW ABOUT HAWAII PEOPLE COMPARED TO THOSE IN KENTUCKY. I WOULD TRY TO ADD IN MORE ABOUT YOU LIKE THE BIT ABOUT SURFING AND SWEATERS IS GOOD, TRY TO ADD MORE. MS(3+)

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  2. Good beginning it really caught my attention. I like the prompt you choose also. You also have good word choice in your essay.

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  3. Your overall concept & content is really cute, and captures the audience's attention! I think you could include a little more personal information about yourself; the more you in the essay- the better! Keep up the good worrrkkkk home skillettttt

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    1. I will homieeee geeeegeeeegeeeee funkerdoodles

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