College Essay Final

Stanford Prompt:

Virtually all of Stanford’s undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate—and us—know you better.

Aloha, Roomie!

I apologize in advance for any grass trails from my skirt, it gets messy. Don't worry about the bristles from my coconut bras; I'll be sure to pick up after myself. 

Nah, just kidding. My name is Tiffany Agustin, your roommate for the year. I’m aiming for the amount of intellectual vitality that you would want in a Stanford roommate, and I'm hoping to be to your satisfaction. I'd like to avoid as much conflict as possible, whether minor or great, and get along as well as possible (although I'll take what I can get). 

I am indeed from Hawaii, although I do not know how to surf, so please don’t ask for lessons in the future. However, I’m open on learning how to surf together. I’m pretty short compared to all you mainlanders (what we call those from the motherland), and I’m not used to the cold because cold doesn’t exist here. I own a vast collection of sweaters for someone that hasn’t experienced true cold, but I’m proud of it.

Now, onto more serious matters. Grades are very important to me (it should be for the both of us, we’re applying to Stanford), so I’d like for us to help each other out a bit. Testing each other, taking turns at buying graph paper and index cards, sharing notes. I like to be meticulous with the order of things, including the notes that I take and the order in which our room is kept. I merely ask that we keep to our separate spaces within our room and only utilize which areas are ours. I assure you the room will be divided to fulfill the needs of our college lives.

With us living in a dorm, I'm relieved that we don't have to handle money that often. I ask that you won't have me hold your change, because I'm allergic to nickel. Not the actual coin itself, but the metal. The lower the amount of nickel, the longer it takes for a rash to develop. Nickel is one of my many allergies, along with raw fish, onions, and aspirin. If you have any allergies at all, please let me know! Wouldn't want to kill you "on accident."

If you’re from Hawaii as well, I feel better that there's someone I can talk to about the differences here. Reverting back to the topic, if you are from Hawaii, then I’m happy (secretly ecstatic and cheering) to know that I have something in common with my roommate.

I hope that we create many quirky, dorky, and enjoyable memories together. I’ve been told that college would be the best years of my life, and I’ll be trying to prove that statement correct throughout our four years together. Hope to meet you soon!

Tiffany Agustin

Word Choice: Abstract vs. Concrete Language (Brianna and Tiffany)

1. The soldier warmly embraced his children for the first time after spending six strenuous months in Iraq. Glee was plastered over the span of all their faces; smiles expanding for ear to ear. As the children barreled towards their father, the dedicated soldier cried out a wail of happiness; he had finally reached the moment he had been yearning for.

2. She tightly gripped the gun, hands shaking. The man across of her smirked mischievously, toying with her. "Where's my daughter?" she demanded forcefully. Silence ensued as the man wiggled in his chains. He then looked up slowly, smiling devilishly. "That' for me to know and for you to find out," he snapped. With sweaty palms and shaking hands, she set the gun down on the table. As she glared at the man for the last time, she clicked the button and bolted out of the trailer. The man went up in smoke. 

3. As the competition came to an end, the seconds seemed infinite. My palms sweaty and heart racing, I waited impatiently for the announcers to declare the winner. I had a slight anticipation I was going to win; my competitors acted with great temerity while playing. The static of the mic burst through the silence. The world was a blur as our names were announced for everyone to hear. We had won at last.

Ball Pit: 

My eyes widened as they scanned over the explosion of color before me. Patches of blue, red, yellow, and green could be found anywhere and everywhere in my field of vision. Without hesitation, I dove straight in to the various hues and shades of color. I felt like a little kid; unlimited energy with the feeling of exploration coursing through my veins. Emerging from the ball pit, my eyes locked onto the bright orange stairs that led up to the sky blue slide. I quickly scrambled up the stairs, stumbling over step after step. Reaching the top, I felt accomplished and proud. I sat down and gripped the handlebar above the opening of the slide and sat down clumsily. Taking a deep breath, I pushed off and let go of the bar and all the maturity I currently had, letting myself transform into the carefree child I once was.

Roller coaster:

Iron bars perfectly organized to create a colossal 400 foot roller coaster. Each individual component, perfectly placed to create a contraption that would provide entertainment and induce awe. Coats of the colors of bright autumn pumpkins served as the exterior of the attraction, making it contrast so beautifully against the baby blue skies. It spun around itself, and twisted itself into several variations; like a skilled contortionist at the Cirque Du Soleil. Quite the spectacle, it caught many daring souls that sought adventure. 

College Essay Draft

Stanford Prompt:

Virtually all of Stanford’s undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate—and us—know you better.

Aloha, Roomie!

I apologize in advance for any grass trails from my skirt, it gets messy. This is my first time writing a letter in English instead of Hawaiian, so pardon my grammar and spelling.

Nah, just kidding. My name is Tiffany Agustin, your roommate for the year. I’m aiming for the amount of intellectual vitality that you would want in a Stanford roommate, and I'm hoping to be to your satisfaction. I hope that when we meet, we agree on virtually anything and everything that ever was on the face of this planet (although I know that won’t happen ever in the history of the universe).

I am indeed from Hawaii, although I do not know how to surf, so please don’t ask for lessons in the future. However, I’m open on learning how to surf together. I’m pretty short compared to all you mainlanders (what we call those from the motherland), and I’m not used to the cold because cold doesn’t exist here. I own a vast collection of sweaters for someone that hasn’t experienced true cold, but I’m proud of it.

Now, onto more serious matters. Grades are very important to me (it should be for the both of us, we’re applying to Stanford), so I’d like for us to help each other out a bit. Testing each other, taking turns at buying graph paper and index cards, all that stuff. In addition to that, maybe we could alternate in buying dinner?

Whatever you buy can’t have onions, which is what I’m allergic to among other things, such as nickel and raw fish. If you’re planning on killing me, don’t use the above methods, because they’d know it was you. If you have any allergies at all, please let me know!

If you’re from Hawaii as well, then what a coinkydink (my word for coincidence). This is the warning that I make a lot of weird noises and words that may be either disturbing or creatively stimulating. But if you are from Hawaii, then I’m happy to know that I have something in common with my roommate.

I hope that we create many quirky, dorky, and enjoyable memories together. I’ve been told that college would be the best years of my life, and I’ll be trying to prove that statement correct throughout our four years together. Hope to meet you soon!

Tiffany Agustin

Coming of Age: Poster Draft

College Essay Prompts

Berkeley:
     1. Describe the world you come from--for example, your family, community or school--and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and inspirations.
     2. Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution, or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

Stanford:
     1. Stanford students possess an intellectual vitality. Reflect on an idea or experience that has important to your intellectual development.
     2. Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate--and us--know you better.
     3. What matters to you, and why?

University of Southern California:
     1. Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.
     2. Discuss some issue or personal, local, national or international concern and its importance to you.
     3. Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence.
     4. Describe a character in fiction, a historical figure or a creative work (as in art, music, science, etc.) that has had an influence on you, and explain that influence.
     5. A range of academic interests, personal perspectives and life experiences adds much to the educational mix. given your personal background, describe an experience that illustrates what you would bring to the diversity in a college community, or an encounter that demonstrated the importance of diversity to you.
    6. Topic of your choice.